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Scary Shit



Potty training has been a hot topic in our household as of late. The Professor seems to think it will just magically happen with nary a drip of pee or smear of poop on the rug. He is horrified by bodily excrement to a comedic level “BELLE!!! I NEED HELP WITH THIS DIAPER!!!!!!” is a weekly ordeal.

“Babe, you know there will be some mess when we potty train. You are going to have to clean pee or poo off of something that is not a tooshie. Unless I potty train while you are out of town.”

“Sounds like a good plan to me,” says the eternally helpful husband.

I know potty training will bring a good amount of stress to our already taxed marriage so we are putting it off.

We do have a cute little potty at home that Sabine uses to host “swimming” parties for her stuffed kitties. She also likes to sit on it while I shower and chat with me. I have found all kinds of toys in the potty and each time realize we might be missing the point with the potty.

Recently we started sitting on the potty every night before bath. She sits on her little potty and I sit on my grown up potty and together we sing Twinkle Twinkle and go pee. Or I pee and she pretends. Either way, it’s been quite a while since kitties swam in her potty so I think I’m making a little progress.

A few nights ago it was bath time and the Professor found Sabine hiding beside the couch.

“It’s bath time, Sabine! Come on!”

“Noooooo!” she cried. “I’m pooping!”

And then she starts making a really over dramatic grunting poop face so we think she is just full of beans.

“Then let’s go poop on the potty!” I cheer.

“Ok,” she says and marches off.

Once in the bathroom, we remove pants and diaper and she sits on the potty while I cheer her on. “Yay! Poop on the potty! GO SABINE”

She squeezes, she grimaces, her tooshie lifts ever so slightly and I see the BIGGEST POOP EVER coming out of her tiny little bum. “I SEE IT!” I cheer.

And then she looks down and sees it. One giant turd coming out of her bottom. One giant, stinky, glistening turd. And she loses it.

“AHHHHHHH!” she screams as she grabs my neck and starts to shake with terror. “SCARRRRRRYYYYYY!” She continues to sob, and poop, while holding my neck. Once the poop is done I carry my terrified child into the bedroom for pajamas and calming.

“It’s ok, Sabine. I’m so proud of my big girl! You pooped in the potty. So awesome! Let’s celebrate with ice cream tomorrow!”

“Poop in potty,” she sniffled. “So scary. No more potty. Poop in diaper.”

Since then she won’t go near the potty. She won’t even sit on it while I shower. Hopefully, time will heal these wounds and one day she will be able to poop in a toilet and not cry in terror. Until then, I ordered another shipment of diapers and am trying to forget the feeling of having a person take a dump while screaming and clutching my neck…. Neither of us may ever be the same.



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  1. nonsequiturchica #
    January 27, 2016

    Oh no! That is quite an image. Maybe try to read some happy books with her about potty training? Izzy really likes “Big Girl Panties”, “Potty” and an Elmo book that has songs on the side about potty training.

  2. January 27, 2016

    Potty training is the worst, ever. That’s why I quit! Two of my four are trained and I assume the other two will get it before kindergarten….I hope Sabine will find the fun in her pee pee before bath again soon 😦

  3. Karaleen #
    January 27, 2016

    Although traumatic for her…I will admit I totally giggled through this whole post. Ahhhh….Potty training. I won’t give you any mom advise…every kid and every mom is different and they all tend to somehow learn how to do it. Personally…..I totally identify with your husband. I’m kind of an anti-potty trainer. I prefer the nice containment factor of poop and pee in a diaper and really have no issues letting my kids wear them for as long as desired. My husband is the one that wanted them trained….like it was some badge of parenthood to do it early….yet it was me he expected to do it. ha ha ha. Nope….I waited them out so long pretty much both my kids trained me. One day just after 3 my son just decided to start peeing in the potty….probably curiosity from seeing kids do it at daycare…yay…it took about 2 weeks for him to get it. Those two weeks sucked with pee and poo everywhere…..I was seriously pushing him back to the diapers. But…we ditched diapers and all was good after a bit of transition. My daughter….she totally pushed me…I was ready to wait until 3 again (the $10 a week cheaper fee for potty trained vs non potty trained child at daycare just was NOT enough incentive for me)…but at just over 2….that girl was a digital cut over….one day she just did it and we never looked back…even night training….Thank goodness too because by then she had not been sleeping for over 2 years and I was so sleep deprived and groggy most the time. I may have lost my mind. Bottom line….don’t worry. It will all work out in due time. I’m sure you will both recover.

  4. APE #
    January 27, 2016

    That story was hilarious! Sorry Sabine. 😦 They say girls train easier than boys. I wouldn’t know – I only have one boy and I will say that I was right on the cusp of being ready to give up when all of the sudden, my son just caught on. We had taken him out of pull-ups and put him in undies during the day. I tried to take him to the potty about every 2 hours and said let’s just try. Sometimes he would, sometimes he wouldn’t. We never made a big deal about accidents. My son was afraid to use the big toilet though, until I finally realized it and had to explain that he would not fall in. lol. Hopefully Sabine gets over her fear. I agree with the other comments, get some DVD’s and books about using the potty. It might peak her interest more. And as someone else said, everybody figures it out eventually…you guys will too! 🙂

  5. January 27, 2016

    Ugh. Potty training. We tried it with Natalie for two days until she started holding her pee in until we gave up and let her off the potty. Then, pee everywhere!! We decided she isn’t ready and will try later. I’m so sorry it was traumatic for Sabine. Natalie was terrified of the potty and wouldn’t go near it, no matter what we tried, then we bribed her with candy. If she sat on the potty fully clothed she got candy. When she started sitting on the potty and demanding candy, we told her she could have it if she took her pants off and sat down. Then naked on potty. Then pee on potty. It worked until it was pee on potty time. I know it’s not the most ideal solution, but if all else fails, try bribery to make it being near it positive again?

  6. January 27, 2016

    Awwww, poor Sabine! It must have been horrifying for her to see the poo come out of her!

    I know I should probably be trying to potty train Seamus, but I have no idea what I’m doing, so I just keep putting it off. :\

  7. sangela71 #
    January 27, 2016

    Oh wow. I have heard that some children are scared by pooping in the potty; I guess Sabine is one of them.

    Potty training was a fun time. Our boys just turned 4 and have been fully daytime-trained for over a year, but one of them still wears a PullUp for nighttime. Pediatrician told us this morning that he will let us know when he is ready to get up at night to pee, so he could be wearing PullUps at night indefinitely. 🙂

  8. Mo #
    January 27, 2016

    I totally LMAO because almost the same exact thing happened with us! The moment Lili pooped in the potty she was done. I still don’t know what to do about it. Scary shit indeed.

  9. January 27, 2016

    Sorry but this is hilarious! Poor kid that IS traumatizing!

  10. January 27, 2016

    I’m sure this is frustrating, but I have to admit that I just woke my son because I was laughing so hard. It’s good to know what I have to look forward to. I hope she starts to enjoy the potty again soon!

  11. January 28, 2016

    Oh poor Sabine! How terrifying for her. This is way in the future for us, but I’ve just kinda figured we’ll use diapers until she doesn’t want to. I mean, at some point they’ll want the independence, right? Posts like this remind me that I really just have no clue what I’m doing. Oh wait, no, I feel like that all the time… Good Luck! Xxx

  12. January 28, 2016

    We used a magic wand to help pooping on the potty not be scary. She would ask for it each time she had to poop the first couple weeks. Worked like a charm!

  13. January 28, 2016

    Ike had a big last hurdle with poops…apparently a significant portion of kiddos tend to think it’s a “part” of them, so it’s scary to let it go. It clicked for me when he got upset that my friend was playing around pretending to OMNOMNOM him and he freaked out saying ‘MY PARTS STAY TOGETHER, MY PARTS DON’T COME APART!’ So then I spent the next three days or so reminding him that “poops are not your parts” LOL. Compared to sweat, tears, pee, etc. Sentences I never thought I’d say, for sure – but within a few days he was clearly pretty much past it and has only had forgetful accidents since! Tiny brains are weeeeird, right?

  14. January 28, 2016

    Oh no! Sorry I laughed, that imagery was just too much. Now that you aren’t finding kitties swimming in the potty, maybe stuffed toys could pee and poo on the potty? My friend used her kids’ toys to help create interest. In the end, she will learn how to use the potty/toilet. *hugs*

  15. January 28, 2016

    Oh, man. Yeah, Opal had a phase when she was scared of pooping too, and we also backed off from encouraging the potty at that time.

    In general, I decided that potty “training” is overrated and that we should relax and follow our kids’ lead, just like with most other things in life. Of course I know this doesn’t work for everyone (especially when daycares or schools require it, ugh), but it’s worth a thought.

    I just came across this and generally agreed with it (though I didn’t watch the video):

    I would at least think that a rushed potty training (like while Professor is gone) is going to have a higher likelihood of being stressful or traumatic. It took Opal about a year of regular toilet testing before she went diaper-free. Good luck!

  16. Lisa @ hapahopes #
    January 28, 2016

    Okay, that was funny. This potty training stuff is hard. We go back and forth with loving the potty and hating the potty too. It’ll all happen… I hope. But since you’re doing “Twinkle Twinkle” I’ll share my mom’s potty song with you. Chipmunk thinks it’s a riot.

    “Tinkle Tinkle on the potty. Sabine is a big girl, ladee dadee.”

  17. jaclyn #
    January 28, 2016

    I’m so sorry, and hope she gets over this soon.

  18. February 1, 2016

    I highly recommend the “Oh Crap! Potty Training” book. It describes exactly what you just experienced, how it can be very frightening and very confusing for a child who has only EVER known the feeling of poop in a diaper and against their skin. The feeling of it falling off into an abyss is very scary.
    We got my daughter trained in a few days using that book, though every kid is different. It’s a hilarious read too. You can get the kindle edition super cheap on amazon!
    Go Bean Go!!! Your life will be SO MUCH BETTER when she is potty trained. I was terrified but it was the best thing ever!

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