Sabine finished her first year of nursery school last week. I felt unexpectedly emotional about this. I can’t believe how much she has grown in one year. She started school not being able to run, jump or climb the monkey bars. She can do all three like a boss now. She started school painfully shy and rarely used words with peers or teachers. By the end of the year you couldn’t stop her chattering. She made adorable little girlfriends who would flock to her every morning cheering that Sabine is here. Saying Sabine “blossomed” seems so cliche, but it really is the truth.
Looking at the daily photos makes me burst with pride and then choke back tears. Sabine is not a baby anymore. She is a big kid with big kid requests, emotions and thoughts. She fills a room with her personality and rarely meets a stranger, except for the crazy old lady in the building with the stinky dog. But she scares the bejesus out of me, too, so that is totally ok!
The end of the year symbolizes the end of something bigger. It is the end of our time in NYC. The next month will be a flurry of packing, planning and seeing as much of the city as we can.
It took a while to feel like NYC is home. There is a steep learning curve to this city, along with the challenging situations of being a new mom and dealing with PPD and anxiety. It was not until this year that NYC felt like home. Our apartment is cozy and comfortable. We have friends that we hang out with as a family and not just the occasional playground playdate. I know my way around pretty well and am not afraid to venture to new areas just Sabine and I.
And now we are leaving. Again.
It seems like I do this a lot. Wait, I do do this a lot! I’m ready to settle down and make a forever home. I am ready to use our extra cash to travel, not to pay for boxes and U-Haul trucks. I am ready to make friends that I know I can grow old with and not have to hop a plane to see once a year. I’m ready to be an activist in my community, something that is really hard to do when you move every three to four years.
I believe Durham will be that place. But I’m still sad to say goodbye to NYC.
I guess that is the way to leave though – as a goodbye rather than just bye.