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Posts tagged ‘yoga’

An attempt at some positive thoughts

06/05/2012

Belle

I find mushrooms inspiring – from death and decay comes life. {Taken with my iPhone the day after my D&C}

I have started and deleted tons of posts about the past two weeks. These posts are bi-polar in nature, swinging between distraught, angry and hopeless to manically happy and chillingly detached. They are miserable to write and I suspect even more miserable to read.  That said, I’m having a hard time finding light in the midst of so much dark. Something has got to give, though, so I’m compiling a list of why it is NICE not to be pregnant. While I’m well aware pregnancy and a healthy baby trumps all of these things, I need to hang on to what little I have left so here we go…

10 THINGS THAT MAKE NOT BEING PREGNANT MORE BEARABLE: 

  1. The gym: I started back last week after hopping on the scale and being horrified to see that the muffin top I have noticed is not a figment of my imagination; there is definitely 10 extra pounds hanging around. It is good to be back at the gym, no matter how distressing it is to watch my midsection pooch and roll while doing ab work. I’m happy to be able to do something about this. 
  2. Yoga: I went back to yoga class on Sunday and holy hot damn it was hard! My down dog is atrocious and my stamina is shot. I’m determined to get my grace and flexibility back so I bought 12 classes and will go twice a week from here on out.
  3. My bike: I need to photograph my bike. She is wonderful and I have missed her more than I realized. Getting to work in under 15 minutes means I can sleep until 5:30 these days which is AWESOME! 
  4. Ahi Tuna: I have not indulged in this yet, but think I might this weekend. I have missed it.  
  5. Hair coloring: I’m now way more blonde than I am brunette and I am loving it. If miscarriage repression had a color it would be blonde.  
  6. Craft Beer: It’s delicious. That said, I should back off of it to help battle the muffin top. 
  7. Pinot Noir: Yes please. 
  8. Litter box scooping: While I don’t really enjoy this, it is nice to be able to tend to the stinky poo boxes myself rather than wait for someone to have time to deal with them. 
  9. No more dildo cam… for a while: It is refreshing knowing that for the next 3 to 6 months the only people who will see my lady parts are myself and Mr. Husband. 
  10. And finally… Sex: I have missed it. Before the transfer I was on the birth control of doom which KILLED my libido. Post transfer there was too much endometrium exiting me at all times. Then I had bleeding. Then I had a D&C. This weekend we did it for the first time in… um… so long I have lost count. Such a looooong time that I was worried I might have forgotten how it all works. Thankfully I have 50 Shades of Inappropriate (Grey) to remind me 🙂 

So that is it. I know it is a lame attempt, but after writing these things down I feel a little better. I’m trying to get my life back in order and reclaim my skinny jeans. Next up is another Picture Picture post, this time of a cat that does not belong to me (hard to believe, I know!)

*A NOTE TO MEANIES: Please don’t tell me that coloring my hair now will kill my next baby. And please don’t tell me that scooping cat shit now will kill my next baby. For the record: I wear gloves and scrub right afterwards. My cats and olfactory system are worth it.
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Stay, Stay

04/27/2012

Belle

I have an amazing yoga teacher. Theresa keeps us moving while teaching us to slow down, breath and live “in the moment.” Often during class she will say, “Stay, Stay.”  Stay, Stay serves as a reminder for us to stay in the moment. There is nothing you can do about the future or the past. If you spend your moments worrying about those, you will miss the present. Stay in the present.

I have come back to this concept many times during our struggle with infertility and the scary nights of uveitis. Today I’m drawing upon it to help me through the early weeks of “the P word.” Stay in the moment, don’t worry about the future or the past.

From what I understand I’m only four weeks P, and that is a flexible number until we can see what is going on in there. At this point there is nothing to do to save this pregnancy if things start going south. I’m already on progesterone 3x a day and two estrogen patches every other day. I’m taking my prenatal, my Omega’s and drinking  an extra glass of soy milk a day. I’m taking leisurely walks and going to Stress Relief Yoga on Sunday.

This is all I can do. I can worry and fret about tomorrow and the what-ifs, but that will not change anything. Living in those worries will only make me miss today.

And do you know what today is? Today is 10 dpt5dt and I’m “the P word.” That, ladies, is beautiful and I’m relishing in the moment, trusting my doctor and trusting my body.

I have decided not to do the repeat Beta test on Monday since my doctor does not require it. If the number is not climbing properly there is nothing I can do but wait till the ultrasound. If I begin to lose the pregnancy, no amount of beta tests will save it. The only thing I can do right now is stay in the present and love every moment of it.

************************

Last night I found myself feeling vom-tastic after eating dinner. I think it was all the garlic, or maybe the smoked salmon. Whatever it was it had me worrying I might have to pull over! Thankfully I kept it down. Smoked salmon is delicious going down, but I doubt its yumminess the second time around.

Today I feel a little queasy, am having some light cramping, my lower back hurts a bit and my thighs feel tired, if that makes sense. Honestly, I feel remarkably like my period is coming. I’m finding encouragement in the fact that this morning’s HPT was a little darker than yesterdays.

And finally, the jeans I’m wearing are miserably uncomfortable and pressing on my lower belly making everything even more uncomfortable. Bloating sucketh mucheth! I have to drive to Corbin, KY today, which means I’ll have about 3 hours in the car. I think I need to run by the house and change pants before I hit the road!

Thank you for all the encouragement over the last week. I have been slacking on responding to your comments and commenting on y’all’s blogs. I’ll play catch-up this weekend. Until then, enjoy every moment of your Friday!

*Photo taken last Sunday while I was visiting the Geese.

CD-6 and Vacation Photos

04/02/2012

Belle

Wow, recovering from vacation sort of requires a second vacation. My sleep schedule is still thrown off from the 3 hour time change. I’m such a pansy. I can’t imagine how I would feel with a 10 or 12 hour time change! As promised, I wanted to share a few photos from our adventures in Vegas and California.

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While in Vegas I had the pleasure of having a quick dinner with Eggs In A Row. (Hey pretty lady!)This was the first time I have met another blogger in real life and I gotta be honest with you, I was a little nervous! This stranger knew more about my female anatomy than my own mother knows at this point! Despite everyone being worn out and rushed to pack (we were leaving early the next morning), we had a lovely dinner and I was thrilled to find her just as hilarious and wonderfully sarcastic IRL as she is on her blog. Mr. Husband and I are planning a trip to Phoenix and Flagstaff this summer and very much hope to visit with her again, and meet any other bloggers along the way!

Today is CD-6. This morning I replaced my Vivelle patch and added an additional one. On Friday I will be wearing four patches at a time – YIKES! Despite all these patches, I’m still terrified my lining will be le’crap so I am doing everything in my power to help it along including:

  • 2-3 cups red raspberry leaf tea (bonus – it is also delicious and has a slight laxative effect which is always a welcome thing when dealing with synthetic hormones!)
  • Evening foot soaks in hot water with lavender sea salts. Mr. Husband hopes this also makes my feet softer…
  • I downloaded Circle and Bloom and will start tonight. I know it is a little late to start, but figured better late than never.
  • Continuing my daily prenatal and fish/flax oil supplements (been taking these for years already)
  • I am going to walk to Kroger on my lunch break today and pick up some baby Aspirin as I have heard this can also help. Anyone else tried this? How many did you take each day?

I would really like to add some evening restorative yoga poses to the mix. Does anyone have recommendations for poses that help to tone and increase blood flow to the uterus?

My lining check is scheduled for April 10 at 9 a.m. Go Ute Go!